So. You think you’ve gotten weird gifts in the past? Think again. I believe a plastic baggy filled with latex disposable gloves could possibly be the weirdest gift I’ve ever seen. This… is my family.

My family is a bit eccentric. When I walked into my Grandmother’s house this Christmas Eve, she was wearing footie pajamas. My father randomly dozes off in the middle of the day, just sitting on the couch with his mouth open. My brother wrapped the cribbage board my mother already owned for her to open at Christmas. My mother got me purple hair dye for Christmas.

But we are nothing compared to my Great Aunt Sarie, nicknamed “Aunt Silly” by my younger cousins. She is a truly hilarious person. She answers to no one and makes up her own rules in life. When she had her licence suspended, she just kept driving because it was convenient- the rules are only worth following if she feels like it, but they don’t really apply to her.

Her and my grandmother get together and cackle like no one else, scaring any nearby little children. In fact, when my brother was little, the thought of being in the same room with their cackling terrified the poor child. Sarie seems to defy age, continuing to dye her hair red well into her later years. And, scarily, it doesn’t seem out of place crowning her eccentricity filled head. Truly the life of the party.

But the best part about my great aunt is her method of gift giving. You see, she travels quite a lot, and loves to shop. But she’s a very kind soul, and so instead of buying things for herself, she buys them for other people. Well, ok, that’s only half true- she buys things that she likes on impulse, using the excuse of gift-giving as a reason to buy them. Then she stashes them away under her bed or somewhere in her house until Christmas. She then digs under her bed and finds these “gifts” that she purchased ages ago, and decides who she wants to give them to. You never know what to expect when you get a gift from Aunt Sarie.

This Christmas, she quite outdid herself. A few of us had opened presents that were decent- the kids got age appropriate play things, my brother and I got travel clocks that told the temperature and could switch to different time zones while being a flash light, some people got nice knitted socks, and my mother got a happy anniversary plate… for her anniversary… that is in July. It was probably just purchased because it was pretty.

But then comes my father. He has a shapeless gift, and as he slowly unwraps the paper, we all quizzically stare at the gift. It’s in a zip lock bag. I try to figure out what it is, and at first I think maybe there is tissue paper surrounding a potentially fragile object. But then I realize that it is not tissue paper. The bag is filled with latex gloves!


The whole family bursts out laughing, my grandmother and mother cackling away and my brother and father chuckling to themselves. Everyone is baffled as to why my Great Aunt decided that latex gloves were a good gift idea. She claims that they are very handy, and she couldn’t give them all so she divided them into bags. She gifted the same gloves to my grandfather as well. Because, apparently, when she was thinking “hmm.. what should I get Richard and Dale for Christmas?” the obvious solution was… latex… gloves? She claimed they could be useful for dusting or for… working on… the engine… The radio active dust that lingers around in our house because we often play around with hazardous waste? The engine is toxic?

So there we are, staring at this little ziplock baggie full of latex gloves in bewilderment. And I couldn’t help thinking to myself, yep, this is my family. And I can totally see myself becoming my Great Aunt. Buying things just for the sake of buying them, and then doling them out to whoever I feel like at Christmas? Heck yes. Forgetting what I bought and being surprised every year when I peer under the bed? Why Not? Sounds like a good way to be to me. I hope I’m that hilarious when I get old. Yet another Christmas in the Huber Household. Sigh

SIDE NOTE: Emily should not be allowed to use words. She got a pez dispenser in her stocking. It was a Santa pez container. My brother also got a pez dispenser. But he proceeded to just unwrap the pez, and eat it! Without putting it in the dispenser! What a complete disgrace to pez dispensers everywhere! So I promptly showed him how it was done, tilting up Santa’s head and retrieving the pez from his throat. “See?” I asked my brother. “You have to french kiss Santa to get some!” I then realized exactly what I had said, and promptly bust out laughing. Yes. This is my Christmas.

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